You could express your thoughts like this, for example, “Honey, I’ve noticed lately that you’re very quiet and you’re barely talking to me. I also feel like you’re showing less interest in intimacy and that you’re withdrawing from me.” As a next step, tell your partner how that makes you feel. You might say: “I’m worried because I don’t know the reason for this change. I’m wondering if I did something wrong or if I hurt you. I’m not sure if you’re okay, which bothers me.” Next, you can express what you wish for: “I wish we would talk about this openly. If there is something bothering you, please tell me. And if I hurt you in any way, know that I’m ready to work on it. I want things between us to be good and I want you to be fine.”Read More
‘‘Any tips for getting through a terrible divorce? I’ve found myself staying in bed most days, moping around, but I want to get over this.’’ Dear person this sounds like you’re going through a difficult time in your life right now. Even without knowing any details about your situation and your circumstances, there is one thing that is obvious to me: you are about to lose someone whom you really loved for a long time.Read More
I ended up getting into an argument with my spouse that escalated out of control! I said some things I regret and I don’t know how to patch our relationship up.
Unfortunately, this happens all the time in relationships. When two people negatively respond back and forth to each other, continually upping the ante while the conversation gets more and more hostile, escalation has occurred.
The most harmful thing about escalation is that in the heat of the moment you tend to say things that threaten the well being of the relationship, statements you cannot take back. “You're so selfish, you're just like your dad” or “You can't ever do it right” or “I wish I never married you.”Read More