Relationship Support: How to Gain More Affection in a Relationship

You could express your thoughts like this, for example, “Honey, I’ve noticed lately that you’re very quiet and you’re barely talking to me. I also feel like you’re showing less interest in intimacy and that you’re withdrawing from me.” As a next step, tell your partner how that makes you feel. You might say: “I’m worried because I don’t know the reason for this change. I’m wondering if I did something wrong or if I hurt you. I’m not sure if you’re okay, which bothers me.” Next, you can express what you wish for: “I wish we would talk about this openly. If there is something bothering you, please tell me. And if I hurt you in any way, know that I’m ready to work on it. I want things between us to be good and I want you to be fine.”

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What do I do when I don't feel like I am enough?

What do I do when I don't feel like I am enough? That is a wonderful question because it affects so many of us! The first thing I want to tell you to give you some comfort is: you are not alone with this! Many people feel that they are not enough. But wait a second, what does this actually mean?

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Tips for Getting through a Terrible Divorce

‘‘Any tips for getting through a terrible divorce? I’ve found myself staying in bed most days, moping around, but I want to get over this.’’ Dear person this sounds like you’re going through a difficult time in your life right now. Even without knowing any details about your situation and your circumstances, there is one thing that is obvious to me: you are about to lose someone whom you really loved for a long time.

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Lisa Kögler: Life Coach

Lisa is a certified life coach and counselor with a passion for art and design. She grew up in Austria but also experienced living abroad in Madrid, Spain, for a year during her studies. She graduated from the Technical University of Vienna and the University of Applied Life Sciences with a master’s degree and worked as an engineer and building certifier for several years. Afterwards she got a diploma in life coaching at the ARGE Bildungsmanagement of the Sigmund Freund University, which led to a major career change.

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One Simple Activity to Improve Your Life

Use every possibility to raise your body, stand up or simply walk. Slowly everybody is realising that sitting for an extended period is unhealthy and linked with obesity, type 2 diabetes, and an increased risk of death from heart disease and cancer.

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What can I do if I get bullied at work?

Bullying is a common occurrence in the work arena and a risk factor for anxiety, depression and suicide. I will mention one definition of bullying behavior for better understanding: a persistent pattern of mistreatment, abuse or humiliation from others in the workplace that causes either physical or emotional harm.

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Dr. Andreas Fida-Taumer: Health & Clinical Psychologist

I am a psychologist working in a psychological counselling service of the public administration of Vienna. Our mission is to help employees and employers who are confronted with conflicts, bullying or discrimination at work. We support to find a constructive solution by individual counselling or by mediating between conflict partners. My colleagues and me perform sensibility workshops for prevention and a better working climate.

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Why Denial is Your Worst Enemy

Vienna-based marriage and family therapist Helen Rudinsky looks at how to recognize if you're in denial, and what to do to break out of it.

Are you lying to yourself? Probably. Most of us do. Denial is the most common way we lie to ourselves. We are in denial when we refuse to accept reality, pretending that a painful event, thought, or feeling doesn't exist.

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Becoming a Trailing Spouse

Can You Really Do It? Giving Up Your Career to Move Overseas?

I'm having a hard time processing the reality of having given up my career in the UK to move overseas to Vienna for my husband and his career.

When one partner has to give up his or her career in order to move overseas, this can become a huge source of resentment and conflict in the marriage. The problem is especially hard for dual career couples. Below is some of the advice she gives couples

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How to Avoid Saying Things you will Later Regret

I ended up getting into an argument with my spouse that escalated out of control! I said some things I regret and I don’t know how to patch our relationship up.

Unfortunately, this happens all the time in relationships. When two people negatively respond back and forth to each other, continually upping the ante while the conversation gets more and more hostile, escalation has occurred.

The most harmful thing about escalation is that in the heat of the moment you tend to say things that threaten the well being of the relationship, statements you cannot take back. “You're so selfish, you're just like your dad” or “You can't ever do it right” or “I wish I never married you.”

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Perspective on The Expat Dilemma : Loneliness

Question: How do I deal with loneliness while living in Vienna?

Living overseas can be exciting! Being an expatriate can be fun! Seeing new places, trying exotic foods, learning different customs, and sending photos of you standing at famous sites to envious friends back home.... But the life of an expat is not all glamour; you can feel very lonely being away from the support of family and friends.

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Helen Rudinsky - Expat Counselor

U!Shine Vienna is happy to announce April's Professional of the Month - Mrs. Helen Rudinsky, an Expat Counselor based in Vienna. Her motto is: "Your Passport to Harmony while Globally Mobile"

Helen is an American Marriage and Family Therapist and Licensed Professional Counselor.  She has a Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, and a Masters Degree in Intercultural Studies. 

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Support on Feeling Lost in Between Homes

It sounds like you are going through some tough times at the moment. And while not everyone has to go through a heartbreaking scenario of leaving the country they set up their roots in and love, know that anyone would be struggling with a situation like that. It's simply a painful thing to do.

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Supporting a Loved One

Hey!

This could go into so many directions, depending on what your loved one needs support with. That being said, there is one thing everyone needs support with, and it’s also the thing that few people ever receive. It’s the feeling of being understood. What’s usually the first thing we get when we tell someone about our problems? We get their proposed solution to the problem. “You should do X!” And then, if they are really dedicated, maybe even weekly follow-ups to check if we’ve already done it.

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Comparing Yourself on Social Media

Let me start with a story: Two friends meet to catch up, and they talk about their lives. As the stories unfold, one friend is dissatisfied with her relationship and the other is struggling with a burnout at work. Then the food comes. This means it’s time for 4-6 selfies, preferably with a breathtaking skyline in the background (ok, make that 10 selfies), the #greatfriends #greatfood #greatcatchingup hashtags, and off that selfie and filter goes into the realm of social media. And ten minutes later, while their food has gotten a little bit colder, a hundred friends around the globe think “Ah man look at that. My life sucks!”

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Anxiety and Fear Being Among Unknown People

Hello you!

That’s a great topic. It’s going to lead to an answer that might be counterintuitive - just a heads up!

You see, anxiety is a tricky thing. When we have it, all that we can ever think about is how on earth we can get rid of it. The solution, unfortunately, is an easy one: Just quit. Just leave. Just don’t say anything. Just don’t go.

It’s really that easy. And I think you know that solution already. What’s so devious about it is that it actually works. Until we realize that we just missed out on something that was important to us.

And here’s the flip side of anxiety. Something I love anxiety for: it is the clearest, most unambiguous indicator that something is very, very important. Think about it: are you anxious that while you are reading this, your dinner is getting cold? Probably not so much. Now, what if your daughter had spent two hours in the kitchen making you the most amazing dinner, while you are stuck in traffic trying to get home in time. Are you anxious about your dinner getting cold now? Of course. It’s freaking important!

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Michael Herold - Life Coach

Michael Herold is a life coach based in Austria and Germany and works at The Art of Charm, a L.A. based company where he is using evidence-based psychotherapy to help clients overcome their social anxiety through playful exercises. If you’re strolling through the shopping streets of Vienna and you hear someone howl like a wolf in a shopping mall, or have someone ask you for a high-five or tell you a really, really bad joke - it’s probably one of his clients!

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Ms. Stephanie Sattowski - Psychotherapist

Stephanie took the time to write 3 wonderful blog posts for readers of U!Shine Vienna:

  1. Integrating into a New Culture and its Effects on Mental Health

  2. Can you decipher the messages of the body?

  3. Separation and Opportunity for a Journey Towards Self- Love

Originally from Hamburg Germany, Ms. Stephanie Sattkowski moved around a lot as a child and is familiar with confronting changes and transformation in life. All of the obstacles she's been through made a positive impact on her attitude towards life and her work as a psychotherapist in training. Ms.Sattkowski speaks English, Spanish and German.

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